Monday, May 19, 2025

Seattle 2024 - iPhone RAW Series, Amazon Headquarters Flora #12 / Wade Pepper and the Big Booger

Nothing better than a jet-black leaf to provide awesome contrast with the orange-ish yellow and pink of the flower.  The water droplets are a bonus...

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As most who know me are aware, I taught high school Spanish and science in the Texas public school system for 15 years.  I feel fortunate to have been able to utilize the college degree and teaching certification earned at SFA in Nacogdoches, but for a variety of reasons felt that 15 years was long enough, and it was time to move on to other things.  Though there may have been some talent, I was not one of those possessing that special calling to productively keep at it until older age and retirement.  Thus, I simply resigned and awaited whatever opportunities lay beyond.

That's not to say that I didn't have some good years, and some good times in the classroom.  In fact, I daresay that some of my antics entered legend that probably would still be remembered today by those involved.

Such as the time I put a tack in a kid's chair.  One day at the beginning of class I noticed a tack before taking my seat, picked it up and wondered aloud how it could've gotten there.  The kids already seated ratted out the perpetrator, a girl named Lisa, who had gone to the restroom.  So before she came back in I placed the tack in her chair.  Just as the tardy bell was about to ring, in she swoops so as not to be late...it was my policy that if the bahonkus wasn't firmly planted in the right place before the bell started to ring a tardy would be counted against her.  And do you know how a kid sits down when they're in a hurry?  You got it...to beat the bell she plunks down hard on her bony butt.  Didn't stay there long, however, as the tack found its target (or was it the other way around?), resulting in a whoop and a jump up out of her seat.  Couldn't count her tardy, could I?  But the class - and even she - got a good laugh out of it, which started the period with a smile and an easy mood that made the day's lessons go down a little easier.

Then there was this girl named Nikki that sat in the back of one of my science classes, and was always getting into trouble for talking.  She and I had a good rapport, but I was getting tired of writing out discipline slips on her and the occasional jaunt to the office.  One day close to Halloween a student brought in one of those creepy battery-powered disembodied hands that made the fingers move seemingly on their own.  Nikki was another one of those that came in at the last minute, so before she got there I told the rest of the class to keep quiet the fact that I had something up my sleeve, and showed them the hand.  Then I placed the hand in an open top drawer of my desk with the fingers reaching up as if they were going to crawl up onto the desktop.  Very nonchalantly I started the class, and could see the students glancing at each other and then at me, wondering when the show would begin.  Soon enough, when the class was quiet doing some assignment, I flipped the switch to turn on the hand, and called Nikki up to my desk to look at a paper she'd turned in.  She dutifully came around and approached my side of the desk.  Didn't stay approached too long, however, because when she saw that bloody hand with the fingers moving she let out a scream and must've jumped up about three feet.  Bingo!  This got me even, and a big laugh that lightened the mood which ended class on a positive note.

Then there was Wade Pepper.  He was in my sixth period Spanish class, but never wanted to be in there learning Spanish.  As a result, he could sometimes be a real "toot", as we used to call them.  I taught a science class right before his, and one day we did an experiment with sulfur.  When you carefully heat sulfur until it melts, then pour the liquid into a beaker of cold water, the atoms don't crystallize into the yellow chalky substance we're familiar with.  They bind together in longer atomic chains that result in a brownish-green rubbery substance that doesn't look like sulfur at all.  This rubbery substance will eventually, however, crystallize starting at the surface where it's exposed to the air.

That day in fifth period we had just completed the day's experiments with the sulfur and I was cleaning up before the dismissal bell.  I had a big glob of this pre-crystallized substance in my hand and observed something.  As the atoms began to harden into its more natural crystalline state, yellow blotches formed on the surface, leaving the gelatinous, springy mass in the interior of the blob.  As these atoms crystallized, an idea began to crystallize in my mind.  Hey, Wade is coming in next period, and this looks like a HUGE BOOGER!  I pocketed the blob, knowing that by the time sixth period started it would look just right.

Yes, and the next period started as per usual, only this time I didn't tell any of the other students what was planned.  After a perusal of class to check roll, I was carrying the attendance slip to the back of the room to place on the windowsill to be picked up later.  With this slip in my left hand and the blob in my right, I made it a point to go between two rows so that I'd pass right next to Wade.  He was about the third seat back, so right after passing the first seat in the row I feigned the beginning of a sneeze.  Passing the second seat I was cocked and ready to go, pretending that the sneeze was building into something big.  Then, right as I was passing Wade's chair, I let it blow, uncuffing the blob from my hand and flinging it right onto his desk.  Oh my, what a reaction!  He wanted to jump out of his chair but couldn't do it quickly enough, but he didn't want this big booger on his desk either, so for some reason used his hand to slap it clear across the room, where the sulfur bounced unceremoniously off the wall.  This was a real touché moment for me, because I'd finally gotten even with the little toot, and class with him was much easier after breaking the ice with that sulfurous blob that looked like a booger.

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